FoTC vs. SNL

Co-Worker #1: Hey, I just noticed that Saturday Night Live's "Jizz In My Pants" is kind of a rip-off of the Flight of the Conchords' "Inner City Pressure".

Co-Worker #2: Yeah, Shamon mentioned that a while ago.

Co-Worker #1: Nice work, Shamon. You're on it!

Shamon: What?

Co-Worker #1: Way to catch the similarity between those songs.

Shamon: Yeah, I'm so on it that I already forgot what I said. It's all tender-brain world.

Beer Pong?!

It would be so fun to play beer pong with you, Shamon.

Shamon: "Or just a regular bong. Yeah!"

No, we said Pong not Bong.

Shamon: "Oh, what's that?"

Everclear...

Yeah, that was like the Rohypnol of the 70's.

I lost my sole (part 2)

"It's total welfare world 2008"

I lost my sole.....

Isn't that a little suggestive in the morning?

When I'm just trying to get some iced tea...

Lunch Break

While heading out to lunch, walking to the parking lot with a co-worker:

Co-worker: Are you tired?

Shamon: Yeah, but I'll perk up after lunch. After I pound a few ice teas, I'll be all sassy and jazzy!

Mr. Belvedere

Co-worker 1 and co-worker 2 are having a conversation about the tv show classic Mr. Belvedere.

Coworker 1:So was Mr. Belvedere like the family's butler or housekeeper?

Coworker 2: Yeah, I think he was like the caretaker.

Shamon: Or Resident Pedophile.

The Terminator truck from Bakersfield photo...

In regards to the truck, "Its so sick its awesome!"

Buttered Sourdough Toast =

Hot and Salty YUM-YUM.

What are you bringing to the pot-luck?

"Some sweet reefer."

Disco Karen

Like my dancing? Wait 'til the rated R stuff...I don't mean nasty, just inappropriate.

Post-lunch comment

My breath is an onion war zone.

What did you order for lunch?

I got my cheese burger yum-yum.

"Good Morning, Karen"

Response:

"Hey, Tiger"

A Liquid Gold pen

"Yeah, it's for like Christmas cards...Or huffing."

In reference to a large martini...

"I didn't even like gin until I was like 40; just like blue cheese and coffee."

Regarding the stuffy office....

and paraphrasing the FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS, "It's hot like a curry."

While shredding some paper...

"Oh [co-worker's name] stopped this up. Now, she's going to have to pay the piper... BITCH!"

As the sun light pours in through the window....

"Ahh, I can't take the light! Its all vampire syndrome!"

Closes the blinds.

While working on an important finance project...

Oh I know what this is!

See guys, look how smart I am, I figured this out!.......................

Oh.....

maybe not

The (smelly) department bathroom

"is total DEFLATION STATION."

Candy Fix

On her way to get candy out of a co-worker's office, she notices that her co-worker is having a meeting with someone else...

"Awww! Trying to get candy and I got cock-blocked!"

Valley Stories....

"There was this place named Pioli's. I remember we got in trouble when there was a ruckus in the bathroom because there was a salad in a bowl, spinning in the toilet. Everyone was watching it. And I know who put it in the toilet, it was Burt, it wasn't me. And Burt wasn't a kid. Burt was someone's Dad."

Afternoon Snack

I'm gonna eat my pasta salad you bastards

Looking for a print-out...

Where's my hoo-ha?

In regards to an afternoon sugar fix...

"Are you ready to throw down on this chocolate donut like I am!?" KT

On tagging along to grab coffee...

"You wanna go on a cruise-y tour?"

On getting nosebleed seats at Dodger Stadium...

"There's nothing wrong with being high."

A KT trifecta during our afternoon snack break

1) "Do you want anything from the liquor, I mean gas station?

2) "I'm totally queer for ice."

3) "My Uncle keeps telling me to go to his car wash place. And I told him, 'First of all, I'm not from around here, and second of all, whatever.'"

In regards to comparing KT quotes to Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts...

He's in an office in Rockefeller Center, where did I go wrong?

(beat)

But New York is too cold anyway

On the way to the bathroom...

Are you going to the Pee-peria?

On being out of it on a Monday...

It's a total DRY DOCK.

Looking for a post-it...

with a password on it: "I knew I needed that paper; BITCH!"

Happy Birthday, Daniel!

Shamon!

Are you huffing?

Yeah, but it's an old can.

An interesting scent floats in the office...

Someone asks, "What is that smell, perfume?"

KT responds, "That's not perfume, thats my super sexy raver gum!"