Cashews vs. Peanuts

"If you can't have the nuts you want, love the nuts you're with!"

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

CR: Wouldn't a normal person say, "I'm going to the X games."? Not just "I'm leaving early at 2:30."

KT: Well, you didn't ask. The less info the better. Don't ask; don't tell.

It's always something

"Oh my gawd; I left my wallet. It's always something. I need a man purse."

June birthdays

Co-Worker: How do they say Happy Birthday in South Africa?

Colin: Well, in Afrikaans, it's gelukkige verjaarsdag [pronounced kha-lukkikh-farr-yaars-daakh].

Shamon: I thought she was married to Harrison Ford.

Hip to be...

Shamon: That's so L7.

Colin: What?

Shamon: That's so square.

Colin: Oh my gawd. That's pathetic.

Colie's Choice

"I don't know what's worse. Double black scotch or the new Radiohead album!"

He Works Hard For The Money

"It's tough working 2 jobs, supporting 6 cars."

#16

Co-worker: This pick-up truck with a TV in the back didn't clear the covered parking lot entrance, and the box with the TV in it got lodged against the ceiling and completely cracked the TV.

Colie: That's a major vrot banana, eh?

Shamon: What? You want a banana?

Colie: No, that's my new term for a situation like that. That's Colinism #16.

Alfas and Omissions

Why are you sweating?

"It's from all the coffee and running around...and all the lies."

Black Swan

"If I go without Bev, I'll be a dead duck."

More cowbell!

Curry Colinisms

1) If you can't get a curry, the arrabiata is the next best thing.

2) The curry smelled so good...I almost beat her up to steal it from her.

Too Many...

"Too many clients on the dance floor!"

Sung to the tune of:

Randoms

1) K is kinkier than C

2) Hell to Uh-uh

3) Karanoid

4) For all your English to Afrikaans translation needs, check out these links:

- Google Translate
- The Slangtionary

Classic

"Oh my god, after 1 beer...I'm a cheap date. Talk about being Jewish."

The Tweekend

Co-worker: "Have a good weekend, Colin."

Colin: "I will. And, don't tell me what to do!"

Hoarding

Colin: "Does any one have folders for the meeting?"

Co-worker: "Yeah, I do."

Colin: "Thank God someone's a hoarder."

Curry Lunch Buffet

1) "When it comes to curry, I don't wait for anybody!"

2) "Hi, my name is Colin, do you have a 2-car garage?"

Bananas

Co-worker: Do you want a vrot banana?

Colin: Oh sure. My tolerance for vrotness is way beyond anything you Americans can handle.

Colin vs. Shamon

Colin: What was it that I said yesterday that could have been a Colinism for the site?

Shamon: I don't know; I don't even remember this morning.

Colin: It's my goal to get 5 Colinisms on there, then I'll colonize the site!