Wedge sandals

Co-worker: I bet it's hard to walk around in those.

Shamon: I used to be able to run around the block in them....You know, away from the cops. Shamon!

Persian Richard Simmons

" [Pointing to the guy in the back with the long hair] This one needs to go back to intermediate."

Johannesburg Lion

"One leg is shorter than the other. We share a common defect."

Silver Reign

Co-worker: They have a free lunch buffet, but it's $30 to get in.

Shamon: I'll save the $30 and look at my own boobs at home in the mirror.

Martyr-world revisted

Co-Worker: Do you want some of my left-over spaghetti from lunch?

Shamon: No, the martyr wants what the martyr wants.

Joey

The devasting aftermath

Missing file

Shamon: Where did you find it?

Co-worker: It wasn't in a hanging file, and it sort of slipped down.

Shamon: Well, I'm sure I didn't do that; it doesn't sound like my handiwork. My handiwork sounds like this [plays cowbell and rings bell]!

Lounge Area

"Full nap rig. I wanta."

Super Ball

Co-worker: "So, are you going to any Super Bowl festivities?"

Shamon: "Me? No. I mean...I'm sure I'll end up in a drunken brawl somewhere. But, it won't be because of the Super Bowl."

Shamon Show Approved

Recycle Rig

Martyr Time

"It's all martyr world...

[Sings] Welcome to martyr world...

It goes with the dance: the martyr shuffle."

[Minutes later]

"Have you seen my martyr mobile?"

Statement Deflation

"This is going in the trash. I'm done with this. It's nothing but heartache and sorrow."

Walkabout

Co-worker: "Do you want to go for a walk?"

Shamon: "Yeah, but I'm not wearing my shoes. I don't care. I'm not afraid of transdermal funk."

A.I.

Co-worker: Is anybody, dare I ask, into American Idol?

Shamon: I'm not allowed to watch it.