The Terminator truck from Bakersfield photo...

In regards to the truck, "Its so sick its awesome!"

Buttered Sourdough Toast =

Hot and Salty YUM-YUM.

What are you bringing to the pot-luck?

"Some sweet reefer."

Disco Karen

Like my dancing? Wait 'til the rated R stuff...I don't mean nasty, just inappropriate.

Post-lunch comment

My breath is an onion war zone.

What did you order for lunch?

I got my cheese burger yum-yum.

"Good Morning, Karen"

Response:

"Hey, Tiger"

A Liquid Gold pen

"Yeah, it's for like Christmas cards...Or huffing."

In reference to a large martini...

"I didn't even like gin until I was like 40; just like blue cheese and coffee."

Regarding the stuffy office....

and paraphrasing the FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS, "It's hot like a curry."

While shredding some paper...

"Oh [co-worker's name] stopped this up. Now, she's going to have to pay the piper... BITCH!"

As the sun light pours in through the window....

"Ahh, I can't take the light! Its all vampire syndrome!"

Closes the blinds.

While working on an important finance project...

Oh I know what this is!

See guys, look how smart I am, I figured this out!.......................

Oh.....

maybe not

The (smelly) department bathroom

"is total DEFLATION STATION."