When promptly leaving for the company chill-out:

"If you're going to get drunk, you might as well get drunk on time."

When the new microwave at the office was mentioned...

"We put tap shoes in a microwave once....just to watch them spark."

After listening to the song "Oh Kuri"...

"Yeah, a whore and curry; that's all you need. SHAMON!"

Avoid liquor crimes

"'Cause they're total deflation and devastation and all shame-spiral."

"Beep Barp"

Happy Birthday, Shamon!

You're the best!

What? Jealous?

More Kentucky Derby-esque pics to come...

This product contains...

a narcotic cough supressant (antitussive) that affects a certain part of the brain, reducing the urge to cough.

Sizzurp

"My Doctor gave me a note letting me off from work yesterday. He's not even my regular doctor. He probably thought I was hinting at it or something. I just wanted some antibiotics and sizzurp."

FoTC vs. SNL

Co-Worker #1: Hey, I just noticed that Saturday Night Live's "Jizz In My Pants" is kind of a rip-off of the Flight of the Conchords' "Inner City Pressure".

Co-Worker #2: Yeah, Shamon mentioned that a while ago.

Co-Worker #1: Nice work, Shamon. You're on it!

Shamon: What?

Co-Worker #1: Way to catch the similarity between those songs.

Shamon: Yeah, I'm so on it that I already forgot what I said. It's all tender-brain world.

Beer Pong?!

It would be so fun to play beer pong with you, Shamon.

Shamon: "Or just a regular bong. Yeah!"

No, we said Pong not Bong.

Shamon: "Oh, what's that?"

Everclear...

Yeah, that was like the Rohypnol of the 70's.

I lost my sole (part 2)

"It's total welfare world 2008"

I lost my sole.....