#16

Co-worker: This pick-up truck with a TV in the back didn't clear the covered parking lot entrance, and the box with the TV in it got lodged against the ceiling and completely cracked the TV.

Colie: That's a major vrot banana, eh?

Shamon: What? You want a banana?

Colie: No, that's my new term for a situation like that. That's Colinism #16.

Wedge sandals

Co-worker: I bet it's hard to walk around in those.

Shamon: I used to be able to run around the block in them....You know, away from the cops. Shamon!

Persian Richard Simmons

" [Pointing to the guy in the back with the long hair] This one needs to go back to intermediate."

Johannesburg Lion

"One leg is shorter than the other. We share a common defect."

Silver Reign

Co-worker: They have a free lunch buffet, but it's $30 to get in.

Shamon: I'll save the $30 and look at my own boobs at home in the mirror.

Martyr-world revisted

Co-Worker: Do you want some of my left-over spaghetti from lunch?

Shamon: No, the martyr wants what the martyr wants.

Joey

The devasting aftermath

Missing file

Shamon: Where did you find it?

Co-worker: It wasn't in a hanging file, and it sort of slipped down.

Shamon: Well, I'm sure I didn't do that; it doesn't sound like my handiwork. My handiwork sounds like this [plays cowbell and rings bell]!