How The West Was Worn...by Michael Jackson

"This is pre-moon-walk."


Installation at the Autry

He Works Hard For The Money

"It's tough working 2 jobs, supporting 6 cars."

Cowbell vs. Hotel bell

"Colie dolly vs. ringy dingy"

True Blood

"I'm starting to liven up here. The sun's going down...it's all vampyre world."

Gumby All Liquorfied

The Adventures Of Shamon

"I gotta put my shoes back on...like a normal person does...at work. I'm not down here by the river like Huckleberry Finn."

Boooooze

1) Co-worker: I had a bad experience with gin once.

Shamon: Yeah, sometimes I go off it too. But, you've got to get back up on the horse! [Rings bell!]


2) "I can't do brown alcohol. Bourbon, whiskey, scotch; uh-uh. I got in trouble once...like life-altering trouble...Just kidding...Sort of."







3) Co-worker: So, what's the philosophy with the globe bar; the rules?

Shamon: Mine is don't get me started.

#16

Co-worker: This pick-up truck with a TV in the back didn't clear the covered parking lot entrance, and the box with the TV in it got lodged against the ceiling and completely cracked the TV.

Colie: That's a major vrot banana, eh?

Shamon: What? You want a banana?

Colie: No, that's my new term for a situation like that. That's Colinism #16.

Wedge sandals

Co-worker: I bet it's hard to walk around in those.

Shamon: I used to be able to run around the block in them....You know, away from the cops. Shamon!

Persian Richard Simmons

" [Pointing to the guy in the back with the long hair] This one needs to go back to intermediate."

Johannesburg Lion

"One leg is shorter than the other. We share a common defect."

Silver Reign

Co-worker: They have a free lunch buffet, but it's $30 to get in.

Shamon: I'll save the $30 and look at my own boobs at home in the mirror.

Martyr-world revisted

Co-Worker: Do you want some of my left-over spaghetti from lunch?

Shamon: No, the martyr wants what the martyr wants.

Joey

The devasting aftermath

Missing file

Shamon: Where did you find it?

Co-worker: It wasn't in a hanging file, and it sort of slipped down.

Shamon: Well, I'm sure I didn't do that; it doesn't sound like my handiwork. My handiwork sounds like this [plays cowbell and rings bell]!